


Numb

by orphan_account



Series: Popularstuck [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alcoholism, Depression, F/F, M/M, Self Harm (mentioned), Underage Drinking, Weight Complex, alcoholic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-10
Updated: 2013-11-10
Packaged: 2018-01-01 01:08:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1038540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jane and Jake have just move to Texas with the rest of their family from Washington, DC. Jane is dealing with a weight complex, and no, no matter how many times people remind her of how 'beautiful' and that she wasn't 'overweight in the least' she knew she would never be thin enough. Jake is dealing with the guilt of accidentally shooting his grandfather during a hunting trip four months ago. Roxy is dealing with severe depression and is an alcoholic, and Dirk is getting over his self harm. This is the story of how their destinies are all intertwined.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Looking for the Golden Light

**Author's Note:**

> There is heavy usage of songs from Marina and the Diamonds album 'The Family Jewels' in this fic. (the POVs will be in order of roxy, jane, dirk, and jake)

Your name is ROXY LALONDE, and sometimes you feel as if you have a one track mind like a GOLDFISH.  
Stuck inside your PETRI DISH,  
you CAN'T BREATH and you CAN'T SMILE, this better be WORTH YOUR WHILE.

You feel NUMB most of the time,  
The LOWER you get the HIGHER you'll climb.  
And you will WONDER why  
You got DARK only to SHINE  
Looking for the GOLDEN LIGHT that might lead you to your salvation,  
Oh, it's a reasonable SACRIFICE  
You BURN, BURN, BURN BRIGHT.

You have to decided to forgo FAMILY, forgo FRIENDS  
That's how it STARTED, how it'll END.  
You can open up and CRY  
Coz you've been SILENT all your LIFE.

You feel NUMB most of the time,  
The LOWER you get the HIGHER you'll climb.  
And you will WONDER why  
You got DARK only to SHINE  
Looking for the GOLDEN LIGHT that might lead you to your salvation,  
Oh, it's a reasonable SACRIFICE  
You BURN, BURN, BURN BRIGHT.  
(burn, burn, burn bright)

Oh, you get DARK oh, and your in HELL...  
You need a FRIEND, oh but you can't yell...  
Yeah, Your NO GOOD, NO GOOD to ANYONE  
Coz all you care about is being NUMBER ONE.

SHINE, looking for the GOLDEN LIGHT,  
Oh it's a reasonable SACRIFICE.

SHINE, looking for the GOLDEN LIGHT,  
Oh it's a reasonable SACRIFICE.  
(sacrifice)

You feel NUMB most of the time,  
The LOWER you get the HIGHER you'll climb.  
And you will WONDER why  
You got DARK only to SHINE.

And you LIGHT UP the SKY  
STARS that burn the brightest  
Fall so FAST and PASS you by  
SPARK like empty lighters.

You feel NUMB most of the time,  
The LOWER you get the HIGHER you'll climb.  
And you will WONDER why  
You got DARK only to SHINE.

And you LIGHT UP the SKY  
STARS that burn the brightest  
Fall so FAST and PASS you by  
SPARK like empty lighters.


	2. I am not a robot

Your name is Jane Crocker-Egbert, and you insanely nervous. Why, you might ask? Oh, nothing big. Other than the fact that you just moved from WASHINGTON DC to DALLAS TEXAS in the middle of the fucking school year. You internally cursed your father, but felt bad afterwards, it wasn't your dad's fault, it was his works. So, now, thanks to that, you sit at the breakfast table in your new house, palms sweaty, weak knees, and shaky hands.

You are fucking terrified. How are you going to make friends? No one will like you, everyone will think you're fat (not that they would be wrong), and ugh just UGH you could not deal with this bullshit right now. You feel a hand rub your back gently and you look up to see Jade smiling at you, holding your breakfast. A blueberry and raspberry smoothie. You smiled at her. "Thanks Jade." You rasp. 

She giggles a bit, and kisses the top of your head. "Calm down! It's only two months into the school year, you'll be fine." Jeez, sometimes you feel as if she is your older sister, not the other way around. You grab the smoothie and began sipping in silence. You're proud of yourself for not eating the pancakes your dad had made, though you probably wouldn't finish your smoothie because you just didn't need the calories.

You finish about half of the smoothie and dump the rest out. You go look in the mirror at yourself again. You suck in your tummy a bit and stretch out your shirt (a long sleeved white shirt with a blue slime on it) a little. You pull down your skirt (a blue skirt with white ruffles on the bottom) a little, to cover your disgustingly large thys more.

"You look absolutely lovely, Jane dearie!" Jake says, popping up from behind you before pecking you on the cheek. You sigh, you know he's just saying it out of pity. "As do you, Jake." You say, hugging him quickly before running off to your room to retrieve your things. 

You grab your backpack and slip on your cotton candy blue converse, and run downstairs. "Jake and John are in the car waiting!" Jade says, as she grabs her things. You smile for the thousandth time, it's become kind of something you do a lot. Though it's not out of happiness, it's robotic and fake. 'I am not a robot, though. You are NOT a fucking robot, Jane Crocker-Egbert.' You remind yourself mentally.

You rush out of the house and hop into the passenger seat. You buckle up and Jake smiles, and you smile again, mechanically, and he begins to drive. "I'm so excited to start school!" John says. "Well, don't make too many friends." Jade says, in a light hearted manner. "Pshh, who would want to be friends with me?" John asks. "Everyone! Your so nice, how could anyone NOT want to be your friend?" You say, hoping to cheer up your little brother.

Soon you pull up to the school. This is it. Wow holy shit this is it. The beginning of HELL.


	3. The Outsider

Your name is Dirk Strider, and you really hate yourself. You feel like a loser (even though you are supposedly 'popular'), and you just feel so alone. You stand in the sidelines, observing the fun. Watching the people with true friends. The kind of person you wish you could be. As you've threatened to others many before, it's best not to get on your bad side, you do know how to work a gun.

You are an outsider. No matter how popular you were, you didn't have any friends, and you highly doubted that you would make any. You sigh softly before throwing off your covers and getting out of bed. You grab your towel and trudge into the bathroom. Locking the door quickly, you tug off your PJs and turn on the shower. Once the water is warm enough, you hop into the shower.

You sigh as the water careens down your body, the steam making you a bit lightheaded. You grab the shampoo and squirt some into your hand and begin scrubbing your messy blonde hair. Tipping your head back, you rinse the soapy mess. You grab your conditioner and rub some throughout your hair. As you let it set, you wash your body and face. After about 8 minutes, you rinse the conditioner out.

You turn the water off and get out of the shower. You shiver a little at the coldness, before clutching your towel and wrapping it around yourself tightly. You yawn, unlocking the door and making your way back to your room. You see Dave in his way to use the shower. "Sup lil' bro." You greet. He grunts in response. You don't understand why he seemed to dislike you so much. Well, at least Bro seemed to love you. 

You entered your room and dropped your towel, and began dressing yourself in the outfit you had set up. A black wifebeater with an ironic logo on it, orange skinny jeans (they made your ass look good), and black and orange converse. You grab your shades and put them on before grabbing your backpack and going downstairs. You grab a pop tart and head out the door. "Bye, lil' man." Your Bro says, appearing out of nowhere. 

You almost shriek, but manage to keep your cool. "Bye, Bro." You respond, going him a fist bump. You leave then, opening your poptart and eating it mindlessly. You walk quickly, wanting to get to school earlier, so you have time to talk to Ro-Lal, literally the only person (other than her giant girl crush, Meenah (though Meenah had let her down gently, she liked Aranea)) that you considered to be your friend.

You make it to the school fifteen minutes early, and spot Roxy. "Ro-Lal!" You call. "Di-Stri!" She says. She drapes herself over you in a drunken daze (as usual). "Hyeeeee Dickkk." "*hey *dirk god fucking damn it." You chuckle a bit. The two of you proceed to have a conversation until the bell rings. You look up and see four kids walk in. They are obviously new. "Who're they?" You ask Roxy. "Oh, those are the Egberts. I heard my mom (the principal) talking about them. Apparently they moved from DC."

This would be interesting.


End file.
